Here's a dandy little Lifestyle Protector for you Executives worried about Audit Time:

RITE-OFF™, WHOLE DEATH's Fountain Pen Nerve Gas Dispenser, deducts nosy IRS-Men within seconds!

Complete with six, U.S.Army Utah Sheep-tested "VX" Nerve Gas Cartridges. Please specify your choice of:

Sterling Silver (Model #2001 8 ounces. $299.95)

22 Carat Gold (Model #2002  15 ounces. $899.99)

Leak-Proof Plastic (Model #2003  3 ounces. $9999.95.)